you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
