you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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