How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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