okay pat passed out under dana's car
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
