May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
