Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
