he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize