if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
