Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
