i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
