Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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