so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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