yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
