WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
