You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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