dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
