Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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