I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
