if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
