just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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