Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
