i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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