It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
