how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
