well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
