I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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