im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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