Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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