Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
