ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
