I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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