If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
