Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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