while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
