Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
