it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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