im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
