I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Damn victory sex feels great
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
