I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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