So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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