We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
