Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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