we're blogging at a bar
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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