Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
