I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
