I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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