Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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