so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
