I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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