At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
