we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You smell like stripper and shame
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
