Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
