I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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