Do you still have your period?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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