This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize