i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
