and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
