the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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