so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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