the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize