You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
