And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
