Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
