found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
