so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
