soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
